Don't Buy This Beach Towel

*** UPDATE! AS OF /(display: todaysdate) WE HAVE ONLY /(display: randominteger(5:15)) LEFT! ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! ALL THE KOOL KIDS ARE DOING IT, YOU SHOULD TOO!*** This one may seem a little a little indulgent... and you're absolutely right, it's 110% indulgent. In fact, you shouldn't buy this towel. Seriously. You've probably got plenty of other perfectly good towels. Do you really need a towel with our logo on it? Is this going to positively affect your life to the extent that this is a worthwhile investment? Will gently drying your derriere with a few feathers really give your dancing the effortless grace you so deeply desire? And what marketing ploys are we using to make you want this thing anyway? You see that girl over there, using the towel? That's called a stock image, but let us pretend for a moment: Her life is probably that of a ballroom rock star! She has more money and friends than she knows what to do with. She saved the whales and built an orphanage, all in one aftern