This Sucks and You Don't Deserve It Card

Sometimes life hands you lemons. But, they're industrial-strength "lemons:" old, shriveled, bruised ones left in the fridge. Lemons that look a lot like an unexpected illness, a broken leg, or finding out your hot new fling voted for Trump three times. And you? You deserve fresh ones. Organic, too. Preferably, arranged in a decorative fruit bowl by someone who believes in artisanal produce. This funny get well soon card is for that person in your life who's going through it right now. It says, "You deserve uninterrupted Netflix binges, only good hair days, and for your phone’s battery to never hover at 1% when you’re out with your friends. You deserve a world where avocado ripeness aligns with your sandwich AND guacamole-making schedules, and where dogs just know you’re a good person and ask if you can pet them." You know, but shorter than all that. This card reminds its recipient that even when life is a total drag, someone believes they deserve every perk, every guilt-free nap, and e